90 Feet Turn Left

Chronicles of a College Student

Mother’s Day May 10, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — hales04 @ 2:08 am

This week has been especially hard.  So, I decided to put into words the thoughts and memories that kept popping up throughout this week.

Dear Mom,

I don’t know any other way to be able to say what I want to you so here it goes.

During this week last year, we were sitting with you at the hospital, and you told us that ‘this was it.’ I still remember holding your hand and leaning over your bed not believing the words you were saying but somehow knowing they were true.  I remember all the boys in the garage building the glider we got you for Mother’s Day and wheeling you over to the door so you could see it.  Even though I knew things were bad I never actually thought that, that would be our last Mother’s day with you.

Every morning in May and June I would hear your voice come through the walkie talkie, which Dad would set in my room when he went to work in the morning… I would hear you say “Hayley, you got to get up… because I’m not lying in this bed all day.” We had our routine down pretty good in the mornings: clothes, wig, out to the kitchen for cereal (Chocolate and Vanilla Life), back to brush teeth, and then to living room to sit in your spot with a book or the remote.  We watched Ellen together at least once a day and sometimes would catch the second airing of it and we would still laugh at jokes as if we hadn’t heard them just a few hours ago.

When you finally decided you wanted to lay in your hospital bed that was in the living room I helped you into it and gave you the controller and walked out into the kitchen to make lunch. I walked back in to the living room and you had the bed up as high as it would go (and it went pretty high,) I was laughing so hard I could barely ask you what you were doing and you quietly said “just messing around” I have to admit that would have been the first thing I would have done too J.  You amazed me the week of Jake and Dana’s wedding.  I know God was helping you be so strong through all of it, but it was truly miraculous the difference from the previous week.

When things got worse, I was scared and the thought crossed my mind ‘maybe I can’t handle this’ as soon as it was in my head, it was out again because it was literally just something I knew I had to do.  I would sit by your bed and rub your bald head.  It never bothered me at all, I think because I knew it made you more comfortable not having the wig on. I can still feel what your hand felt like in mine when I sat by your bed for the “night shift.”  When I would finally go to bed I prayed that we would have one more great memory with you.  About a week before you left us we had just that.  One night you were so alert and asking for water and something to eat, and wanting to try the Acai Berry Juice.  I thank God for that night, for one more night to remember you talking with us and joking around with us. I refer to that evening as “our last supper” when I talk about it with anyone.

Near the end I kept telling you it was okay to go, just because I didn’t want you to suffer anymore.  But the truth is I would have given anything for you not to go.  You had the kindest heart of anyone I have ever known.  There is no doubt in my mind that you are an angel watching over all of us.

Nicole, Jake, Zach, and I are so blessed to have had you as our Mother.  I can’t thank you and Dad enough for the amount of love you showed us and the way you raised us. I think we all turned out pretty darn good.

I love you so much and miss you everyday.

Happy Mother’s Day

Love,

Hayley

 

Go! St. Louis April 23, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — hales04 @ 9:58 pm

Sooo… My half marathon is over with…

It was very very cool to be a part of. We stayed at the Sheraton the night before so we didn’t have to worry about getting in to the city the morning of the race.  I woke up at 5 am Sunday and popped right out of bed suprisingly and we got all ready to go and headed to the starting line about 6:30. It rained the WHOLE time. it was obvious we were just going to get soaked and everyone was ok with it, the rain helped to keep your body cool, but it did a number on my glasses, i couldnt see much at all the whole time and theres wasn’t a dry article of clothing to wipe the lenses on so I just followed the purple shirts in front of me :)

The side effects… Swollen Ankles, (still today) Blisters (super huge, gross one on my heel) and chafed arms from the wet shirt. But totally worth it!

The Team of 95 raised over $190,000 for cancer research, which is freakin awesome!

I know it’s kind of a boring post, but I haven’t posted in forever.

 

Another one that’s probably going to make you cry December 7, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — hales04 @ 10:21 pm

Watch as the little girl realizes that its actually her dad there. (can never get it to embed correctly sorry)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yX_DujORg8&feature=related

 

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! November 19, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — hales04 @ 11:11 am

I am SOOOO frustrated! I just went to see my advisor and I went in there thinking. Alright I finally have a GPA that is higher, Im so ready to be in the program and be on the fast track out of here…… not so much. 2 classes that I took that I did really well in, got removed from the program as requirements! And oh guess what 2 new ones got put on! How am I supposed to graduate at this rate!!! I talked to another friend of mine just as she was leaving the office also and she is in the same boat as me and was furious! I know I’m getting closer to the goal, but I just needed to vent. BOOOOO!

 

Jessica Stone November 17, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — hales04 @ 11:48 pm

I was brought to this story via Matt Nathanson’s site and I wanted to share this video. Beware it’s probably gonna make you cry!

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=5665944

Since the video was made she has gotten a CI (Cochlear Implant) and has begun the process of learning to hear in a new way. But I just found her story really inspiring and I’m going to have her blog in my blogroll if you wanna check her blog out!

 

Dreams and Shooting Stars November 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — hales04 @ 1:06 pm

Recently I had a dream about my mom.  I haven’t had one in a while and this one was, the most real out of all of them.  My whole family was riding in the car together and we were going to watch a movie, but ended up at a parade instead. The whole time we were all talking like everything was normal. I was sitting back to back with my mom at the parade and we were just talking and suddenly everything became really clear to me and I turned my head, and grabbed my mom’s hand and just our fingers were linked, like cupped with one another. And I squeezed her hand and started to cry and told her that I missed her and she said she misses me too. And then I woke up and was crying and I looked at my hand and there was an imprint that looked like fingernails in my hand, and any of you that know me know how short my fingernails are and how it couldn’t have been mine. I know that it was just a dream but it felt SO real.

The other part of this title is about a song “One Moment More” by Mindy Smith that I have loved for a few years now and just recently found out that she wrote it for her mom that also died from cancer. She talks about how when she sees a shooting star it feels like her mom not That far away. I have seen 2 shooting stars in the past month :) and it is really just something that comforts me now.

Here is her song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jzu3Ihyq50c

 

I’m Excited! October 12, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — hales04 @ 11:12 pm
Tags: , ,

Sooooo… In April I am going to do something really cool… I’m doing a half marathon! I start training with the group in November. But Em and I are going to start Tuesday! It is for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I’m so happy to be able to be a part of it, we haven’t gotten all the details, but we have to raise a lot of money… so hopefully we can go around to companies in the area and get some support!

It’s been a frustrating week, I feel like a maid in my house and I feel like I have to hand hold one of my roommates through everything… It’s very very annoying. For example, the vaccuum has been sitting out with the cord not wrapped up for over a week… I would do it myself, but what would that teach her. (OH! I sound like my Mom :) ) Im done cleaning up after her.  And the dishes that were my dishes (I’m not the one that used them) finally got cleaned and I was so excited… then I looked at them and There. Is. Still. Lettuce. In. Them. Seriously, how is this remotely clean?!?! I just don’t understand how someone who is 22 years old, still lives like a total slob. I’m thinking about doing an experiment and not doing any cleaning at all for a week and let her see how gross this place would get.

Ok I’m going to stop ranting now. It always turns into a rant, SORRY!

 

My VPOTUS Candidate is cooler than yours! September 5, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — hales04 @ 1:37 pm

So ever since John McCain picked Sarah Palin as his running mate it threw my political views into hyper-drive. I don’t think he could have picked anyone better. I’m in not at all one of those people that just talks politics all the time. I actually try to avoid those situations, but I’m finally excited.

I read a lot about Sarah Palin and I think that she would make an awesome President someday too! And I love that a bunch of Obama supporters that I know, keep saying “I don’t like McCain, but Palin is quite the running mate”

I just never thought I would be this into politics and I actually watched a lot of the RNC and even some of the DNC.

I kinda wish my Poli Sci teacher hadn’t been such a jerk and just Liberal to no end. I would have maybe been able to get into the class a little more and actually enjoy some of the stuff I was learning at the time.  However, my final was all essay and I gave him my 2 cents and told him that he needs to teach both sides even if he doesn’t agree with it and that he sounds like jackass and shouldn’t be teaching at a college in the United States when he talked about the war and not supporting the men and women fighting for our freedom. Also, that even if he didn’t like the President, he was still the President of the United States, and that his antics of bashing the POTUS in a room full of college students trying to learn the basics of politics was absurd. I doubt if I changed his mind about anything, but I got an A on that Final. (I had been getting a D in the class, because his test questions were his opinion and not what was necessarily in the book.)  So I like to think I knocked a little sense into him.

Wow, sorry that turned into a little bit of a rant… anyway GO MCCAIN/PALIN!!!

 

The Tattoo Experience September 5, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — hales04 @ 9:59 am

I can sum it up in two words: Worth It.

I have been wanting a tattoo for a long, long time. Finally in June I made the decision on what to get and was all geared up to get it.  I couldn’t get in at the place at the time I needed to and he wanted a lot more than I was willing to pay. I was going to get the Ichthys aka The “Jesus Fish” on my ankle. But after my mom passed away in July I knew I wanted to get an angel. Something simple, cute, and small.

I found the perfect one and let the artist draw it up himself and he did great.

I got it done in Nashville, TN on the last day of our trip. I had to go to the place 3 times before I could finally get it done. And when I sat down, I looked up on the wall and right there I see a Phoenix on an arm that I recognize… IT’S KEITH URBAN’S TATTOO. He is my favorite country singer ever. He got it done at that very same place! The whole time we were there I was planning to go to a different shop to get it done too. Just seeing that relaxed me.  And sitting in the chair I couldn’t even look at the drawing, except when he asked me if that was the way I wanted it. I’m not gonna sugar coat it… It hurts… but has no lasting pain. I can’t even remember what it felt like anymore.

So here he is doing the tattoo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkFxcNIrMV4 for some reason the embed won’t work… so you’ll just have to click on the link

I asked him before he started “I know you probably hear this all the time, but what does it feel like?” and he said “It feels like gettin a tattoo” ( I would totally have to agree with him now… there’s nothing like it) he also said that if it hurt that bad I haven’t had a very hard life.

He also asked me if this was my first tattoo and I said yes and probably my only, and he said “Yeah, right!”

I can see how they are addicting, but I can only see myself getting one more, the original one I wanted.

All in all it was a very cool experience and I would do it again and will be more than willing to go with anyone to get one done.

 

So… I’m kind of a hero August 20, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — hales04 @ 7:39 pm

Tonight my roommates and I went to walmart to get a few things that I need to finish organizing my room. Kelly was off shopping for other things, so Nicole and I were walking around trying to come up with ideas of things we needed and a little 3 year old boy runs past us… and keeps running and I just looked at Nicole and I said “his parents don’t know where he is, I want to go help him” And by the time we looked back at where he was running he was gone. Not even a minute later a “Code Adam” alert came over the loud speaker and it was for the little boy. And not a minute after That he comes running past me again crying saying “I want my daddy” and so I stopped him and told him that he would be ok and that we would find his daddy and he wanted to be picked up so I held him and we found a worker and handed him over. I know it wasn’t like some huge deal. But I know how freaked out I would be if one of my nephews was just running around walmart not knowing where to go.